Funny, the way it is

So that last post...I sort of kidding.

But not really.

Everything I said I still believe to be true. You can't plan on awesomeness or magic. And Fingers Crossed and Eyelash Wishes work.

The story behind this is: I did get to attend the event that I was heartbroken for missing. I'll admit it, it was a Parachute concert. And it was worth all of the hype and wishes. I love the feeling of my heartbeat matching the drumbeat and all of my bones shaking with the speakers. I love singing at the top of my lungs, jumping, and watching beautiful men rock.

How did this come to be after all of my life lessons on wishing? I gave up hope.

By midnight on Wednesday I had finally accepted that it wouldn't happen. I held a tiny pity party as I got ready for bed. And of course two eyelashes end up on my finger. I spent one, vainly, on clearing up my skin (I have less faith that this one will work, even wishes can't combat the demons that live in my skin) and the other on a Parachute concert in August. Then I went to bed. And just to follow the oath that I gave at the end of my blog, I fell asleep with my fingers crossed.

Let's just say I got a text at work the next day, Thursday coincidentally. After work I ran home threw some clothes in a bag, grabbed cds, a soda, and a gps, and made a mad dash for Logan. Met Whitni and her friend Sherece and drove to the city of the lake of salt. From then awesomeness ensued. Including seeing Whitni for the first time since Thanksgiving.

Can  we just agree that Parachute oozes sexiness? And believe me I don't use that distinction lightly. Crowd surfing, shred fest solo battle, dirty tank tops, bad haircut, and awesome music.

Oh yeah and I LOVE SAX SOLOS!

...Like Shooting Stars

I believe in Fairytales and Eyelash Wishes. I believe in Fingers Crossed and Fortune Cookies if I like what they have to say.

My Grandpa never believed in Luck. He believed in Fortune. I never quite understood the difference.

More than once I have believed that fingers crossed has worked. It wasn't a feeling of luck or fortune, but almost as if I deserved it because I had wished. Really and truly wished. If someone had asked I would have said lucky, but it was really the feeling of fingers crossed.

And now I think I have discovered, not why, but why not. Fingers crossed does not work if you expect something. If it is expected, likely, or even reasonably possible, one wishes differently. I have taken my new found freedom and filled my summer with great expectations. I need to stop.

I had the good fortune of basically being handed a job, and one that will actually be interesting and impressive. And I am extraordinarily grateful for that. I was able to see my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew--who I did not know if I would see again until Christmas--and now I have found out that I will see them again on the 4th. In Sun Valley. A place more magical than Disney World could ever be.

These have created a wonderful beginning to the summer. But neither of them were planned, not really at least, not by me.

And my first plan has fallen through. I took it for granted. I did not spend enough eyelashes or time with fingers crossed. And truthfully that is all that could have helped. I could not have planned  my way out of--or more accurately, into--this one. My half of the plans were perfectly laid, although it would have cost me more money than I was admitting to myself. It is everyone else's plans that got in the way.

I know I will get a question as to the nature of this plan or failed wish. And I am a tad embarrassed to admit it, although I shouldn't be--anyone who reads this blog already doubtlessly knows of my unabashed love. But alas, there is another chance before this summer ends. A chance that will have better laid plans and far more fingers crossed preceding it. I hope it happens (even though it will cost even more than it would have this time).

According to the dictionary Luck is

"the force that seems to operate for good or ill in a person's life, as in shaping circumstances, events, or opportunities"

And Fortune is to have something

"happen by chance"



I don't know whether I believe in Fortune or Luck or both. Probably both. Sorry Grandpa. But you were always the logical one. Practical. Scientific. I was the one chasing fairies through the branches of your willow.

I believe in Fairytales and Eyelash Wishes. I believe in Fingers Crossed and Fortune Cookies if I like what they have to say.

And I solemnly swear that I will not take them for granted again.

I will wish with all my heart.